summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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