Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
