Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
