You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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