I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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