I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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