Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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