This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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