wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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