I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We left the knife in your bed.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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