Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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