i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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