I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
