she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
