I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
