Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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