I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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