I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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