you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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