Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
