my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
