I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
