apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
