Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just blew my weed a kiss
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
