I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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