I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
