just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
