I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
