just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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