Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
