oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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