hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
