I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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