your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
