Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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