i already hear my dad disowning me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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