My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
