1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
