I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
