covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
