He kissed a someone with a penis
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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