At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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