i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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