He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He? As in you personified your dick?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
