yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
