u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
