My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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