The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
