doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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