I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
