out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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