dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When did angry sex become our thing?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
