I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
