I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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